Wake Up

Dear L Lawliet,

Yes, Ryuuzaki, I know your real name. I've known it for five years and I haven't killed you yet. Know that it is one name Kira will never use.

Yes, I am Kira.

By the time you read this message I will have left the country... And by the time you read this sentence you will have confirmed this.

You see, I guess you might call it cold feet—I'm not quite ready to have you execute me yet. I suppose you're not the only one with commitment issues. It's pointless anyway seeing you have already killed me.

I suppose I owe you an explanation.

All we ever do is fight. I'm so sick of it... of everything.

You're right about me, all of it. There, I said it. You're even right that there was once a time I wanted you dead. Know that I would never kill you now regardless of what you might do to me. You may never believe it but I'm not the same person I was then. A lot can happen in five years... or nothing at all.

L, why did you have to leave me like that? Don't you have any idea what it did to me?

You ruined me.

I waited for you. That was no lie—why would I lie to you about that?

I missed you. I missed your rude remarks, and your greasy hair, and even the sticky sugary mess you would leave all over everything and I realized you're probably right—I might be crazy, at least when it comes to you, and that's something that God cannot afford to be.

I'd do anything to make things right between us but not even I can do the impossible.

L Lawliet. I loved you. It's true. Regardless of what you might think of me. You know I have a job to do and God rules alone. You may hate me for it but you made it abundantly clear that any other option is now impossible. I hope one day you'll understand. I doubt you ever will. It's infuriating. You're the smartest man I know beside myself but on THIS… Matsuda is smarter than you.

I know you find what I do repulsive. It saddens me that you just do not grasp the true nature of justice. This world is so rotten that even this is better. I can protect everyone. I'd try again to explain but I'm so tired of arguing with you. You know for your sake I might have even considered laying down this burden that was given to me and of returning to a mortal life—I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you—but it's obvious now that this is impossible because I am, in your words, a monster.

That I would consider choosing you over the good of the world—I guess that makes you right.

I hope it makes you happy.

L, did you know the only way to kill a God of Death is to make it fall in love with a human?

Know then that you've killed me, L—as surely as if you've stuck a needle in my arm.

Knowing you, it's pointless to ask that you not come looking for me but still I feel as though I should tell you you're wasting your time. You won't find me. I won't be coming back.

Light Yagami is dead. At least have the decency to let him rest in peace. I want you to live a happy life, L Lawliet, so please do your best to forget about me. You would have never been happy with me anyway.

I wish there to be no hard feelings between us. If anyone is ever bothering you or trying to kill you just let me know. I'd kill anyone for you. For this I have given you a means by which you can contact me that you have likely already found—tracing it is quite impossible. I can protect you wherever you are. I suppose you won't appreciate it, how very blessed you are, not everyone has a God on speed-dial. (It's for emergencies only. Abuse the line and I will disconnect it.)

Goodbye, Ryuuzaki.

It's been fun.

Love always,

Light.

P.S. No doubt you will have already discovered the package. Don't worry; it's just daifuku cakes from that café we used to go to from before...

They aren't poisoned, I promise.

00000

The message vanished when the screen flickered and then blacked out. The laptop sparked and sputtered and then it remained where it had been kicked onto the floor.